A Lot Ado About Having Sexual Intercourse With Lesbians | Autostraddle

It has been a huge week for homosexual-related basic individual narratives in liberal-and-feminist-but-mostly-heterosexual journals!

The first piece relates to us via xojane, the women’s website headed up by Jane Pratt (my personal champion)

(i am major) of

Sassy

and

Jane.

Titled ”
I am a Lesbian Pillow Princess
,” this part is part of the “It Happened for me” feature which also existed at JANE journal and consists mostly of writer/reader-submitted records of subjectively fascinating personal experiences.

The unknown composer of this piece, exactly who we’ll phone “Ariel,” is obviously bisexual, but because she conveniently provides hit jobs to the woman male lovers but doesn’t go out or usually go lower on ladies, the woman is, she explains, technically, just a ”

Lesbian

Pillow Princess.” (She also describes by herself as “mostly straight” and “straight” at different things in story.) Her reputation started, she clarifies, whenever the woman first lesbian hookup can — a smokin’ hot dyke called Kelly at her university — took place on her for an hour or so. She la-la-la-loved it right after which right away fled the scene fearing her own inability to execute this type of fantastic cunnilingus upon Kelly for such a prolonged period of time.

She produces:

“naturally, term got around that she and I had hooked up and this I’d left her holding, which had the strange effect of offering myself folk-heroine position. Kelly also known as myself a “pillow princess,” and henceforth, I became one. It actually was like some type of film conceit where the hero is seen erroneously as a high profile and reaches drive in a limo and stay in an elegant resort for the reason that it.”

This seemingly entirely worked out inside her favor, as she romped about in school setting up with lots of “aggressive types exactly who got off on idea that I became unwilling to try to let a female touch me personally.” Post-college, she managed to move on toward internet, in which she marketed their comfortable condition and often found with ladies for NSA gender.

Nearby the conclusion she problematically describes that when setting up with a female she actually is perhaps not keen on, she merely closes her sight and envisions some other person “while [the lesbian] really does her thing.” Sometimes it seems like she wants ladies to consume her out even though they’re presumably much better at it than the male is. She

could

go down to them but “I am not dating them, and I also don’t think I would want to have my fetish corrupted by looking after someone adequate to hand back.”

I mightnot need to sit alongside Ariel on an aircraft, but her one-sided intimate experiences tend to be consensual and she actually is simply telling a real tale of her existence, so I’m not really yes what things to make of this (and that I’m curious to understand what you create of it, if any such thing).

Next, on Jezebel (via
The Favorable Guys Venture
) there is
I Married a Lesbian (and that I’m men)
. The writer, Hugo Schwyzer, “tended getting crushes for a passing fancy brand of lady: the star baseball player, the soccer forward, the swimmer. Some had been lesbians. Some weren’t.” The guy wondered:

What is it that received me oftentimes to women that had been same-sex lured? It really wasn’t the stereotypical male dream regarding what they certainly were doing during sex, and it certainly had nothing at all to do with a macho belief that I could switch a gay woman straight.

In components, the portion (which does tred on some stereotypical surface) reminded me personally within this offer from

Girls Across The Street

,
which I quoted in an article about feminine maleness
:

“…if we’d in order to make one other generalization about lesbian style, it might be that the majority of united states are incredibly interested in women, gay or straight, stunning or perhaps not, exactly who seem as if they may be able look after by themselves.”

The author ultimately marries a lesbian which displayed as right, in which he discovered their unique causing love life become unsatisfactory. She refused to provide him strike tasks and didn’t love entrance but cheerfully approved their choices of cunnilingus. When their particular sexless matrimony concluded in divorce and a drug relapse (for him), they are relatively compassionate to his ex-wife’s endeavor versus marking her as misleading (as numerous associated with commenters carry out):

She had result from a conventional family who does have now been profoundly embarrassed for a homosexual son or daughter. She may have identified, but did the girl best to cover it, perhaps hoping that the woman emotions might alter. Or she might-have-been like many females I identified, and simply discovered the woman real sexual identity after currently becoming married to a man.

What is redeeming relating to this article to me that the writer’s conception of his own sex is mainly free from the original male posturing any might expect in an item such as this (he actually relates to themselves as “femmy”). Perhaps it simply seems that means because guys therefore seldom write about wanting strong, athletic, powerful ladies with short hair; but it’s energizing however.

I don’t mistake Hugo or Ariel for telling their unique tales, but it is well worth pointing out that both narratives frequently drive about idea that room behavior will be the ultimate/only litmus test of sexuality. Hugo and Courtney enjoy one another’s business, but Hugo cites Courtney’s disinterest in entrance as a “warning signal” the guy skipped, when penetration is scarcely an entirely heterosexual act (it seems much more likely Courtney feared the closeness of entrance with a person she don’t truly want become with, yet you never know) and slipping crazy, eventually, is all about the vagina but it’s additionally about your cardiovascular system and it’s generally about having romantic emotions. Those romantic emotions are the thing that converts a hook-up connection into a relationship, all things considered.

Eventually at

nerve.com

we’ve a nice story directly through the pony’s lips —
My Personal First Time: Female. 17. San Francisco
. I think this is the very first time the “very first time” series has actually included a lesbian.

Generally, in ninth level, mcdougal confessed to her companion that she had lesbian thoughts on her, along with her companion reciprocated, and so they proceeded to carry on a stealth lesbian commitment plus they are nevertheless with each other now and the woman is a grown-up in the military!

This indicates they have but to simply take their particular connection outside of the dresser, basically quite puzzling, but whatever

. [

ETA

: works out this tale had been created before DADT ended up being repealed, although it just got published, therefore there is nothing puzzling taking place right here. This is just straight-up sweet in every single way, unequivocally.]

The focus associated with portion (that will be extremely sexy and nice) is on the author’s development of
exactly what lesbian gender IS
:

We’d never gone down for each various other, and that I had been pretty sure that’s what we would meant as soon as we said we wished to have sexual intercourse. (Now I understand that there’s even more to fucking than licking a female’s pussy and calling it everyday.)

She concludes:

I’m sure that the majority of folks differ as to what virginity method for a homosexual woman, but virginity is wholly subjective, and it really is dependent upon whom you’re asking. Many people might state penetration must be included, but I think its up to the individual losing his or her virginity. Basically feel I lost my personal virginity, subsequently goddammit, We have!

I invested the majority of the early morning and mid-day watching word press, trying to puzzle out what point i possibly could make about these pieces. I was thinking much about the reason we’d never distribute “I found myself a Lesbian Pillow Princess” about this site but cannot work through the reason that I would worry 50 people would vow to never return here in addition to remaning many-thousands people would combat with one another about bisexual erasure/lesbian erasure through to the temperature death of the market. We envisioned someone distributing “I Was a Lesbian Pillow Princess” to us via email and then We imagined the article conference where we might get to that story and all say “NO” in addition.

In searching for a point to gleam because of these stories, I tried to figure out what you would imagine or say, and I are unable to, and I also like to finish this blog post at the earliest opportunity to increase the whole process of me learning how you feel about these tales. Yup, the very first time since that time beginning Autostraddle, I’ve got no clue what you should say about a thing. So perhaps i ought to just ask you — what is actually your reaction to these pieces?